Domestic nudity

A conversation recently sprung up. Is public nudity OK? Should it be banned? Is it ok for parents to run around naked with each other? Is it ok to be uncomfortable with public display?

I have happened to pick a path on this issue that disagrees more or less with every camp. Yet, it seems so simple and straightforward, so obvious, natural and easy - it surprises me that I am quite so unique. So here you go.

Point one. Public nudity is impolite. Your behavior in public, generally, is a matter of politeness. You act in accordance with your culture's customs in a way that is considerate of what others will find comfortable, when this is not in conflict with your values. This means, you say hello when you walk into a room, shake hands without immediately pulling a tissue out of your purse Monk-style, cover your mouth when you cough, refrain from taking screaming infants into an evening movie and excuse yourself if you need to answer a phone call. Politeness, however, does not require you to give up things that are important. You do not refrain from breastfeeding your child regardless of the stares, nor are you obligated to stop and pick out an appropriate outfit prior to running out of a burning building. As I tell my children, "We do not go out naked in public, because it is rude. It is only ok if we are certain that the people around us don't mind."

Point two. Casual nudity within the family is natural.  In my childhood home, the custom was the same as in most: same-gender nudity was ok, opposite gender strictly prohibited. The result? My first encounter with a penis was a copy of PlayGirl my friends picked up at a train station in Germany. I was horrified at the deformed-looking hairy appendage. My second? My own boyfriend. While it was slightly better, I tried to avert my eyes. It took me years, a lot of thought and reading, before I could be comfortable seeing that particular portion of male anatomy. My own body? Not much better. I was mortified at the thought of somebody seeing my underpants. An occasion of that sort at the age of twelve caused me become violent toward an classmate.

One's body is not to be ashamed of, not to be hidden for "a special occasion", nor flaunted as it is in a brothel. It should be comfortable and natural with those closest to us. I do not walk around naked at home.  It is not hygienic, too cold and my butt sticks to furniture. I do not, however, try to hide my body from my children, when I am getting dressed or walking out of the shower. What is the only possible message I can send to them if I swiftly cover up my breasts when they walk in on me changing? Shame and embarrassment on my own part, to be reflected on theirs.


We have a boy and a girl, both well-familiar with each other's anatomy, sharing a bath and frequently a bed. They know what is there, what it is for, and there are no questions, which remain. They run around naked when they feel like it, but get dressed unfailingly to greet strangers.


Point three. A law banning public nudity is reasonable, but probably harmful.  As Ayn Rand points out, there is a "need to protect people from being confronted with sights they regard as loathsome." It is probably legitimate to argue that I should not be afraid to come to my front porch and be assaulted with the sight of the neighbor's testicles.  However, such a law is likely to do more harm than good.  People should demand fewer laws and learn to talk to each other more. "Dammed, George, I please put away your treasures!"

Point four. Strong discomfort with the sight of nudity is an indication of a mistake.  I would argue that if you abhor all nudity outside of a sexual connotation, you probably have a mistaken sense of body shame. Why do you dislike it so?  "Because it should be private" isn't a sufficient reason for the visceral "Oh my god!" we tend to experience. This is a reaction of shame and guilt, of recognition that you are party to something that should not be. When you accidentally walk in on somebody changing and spend the rest of the day disturbed, something is off. On the other hand, "I did not want to see that shriveled thing peeking out from under the giant gut, YUCK!" may be a perfectly healthy reaction, akin to "Ewe, dog poop!" But notice that no legislature is required in this case.

This is the key reason for my emphasis on point number two: casual nudity within the family. Body shame is a horrid, vile problem we settle our children with (and most of us inherited from our parents). A good sense of politeness, with the self-confidence and healthy psychology are all that we need to have a healthy society with a proper outlook on nudity.

Am I as alone as I think?  What do you do? Do you disagree with me? Don't be too shy to post a comment.