The pregnancy test came back negative a few days ago. Shouldn't there be a way in the modern day to flip the switch and be pregnant? I am growing so impatient! Yes, it's only a month since we made the decision to conceive, and only two since I lost the last pregnancy. Not at all time to run to the infertility clinic. Yet, last time it took us six months and I was ready to pull my hair out! And the baby did not make it... Will I be able to get pregnant soon enough that it still makes sense to do so? Will we get so engaged in our current lifestyle, with the growing kids, the business, the everything that we will decide to give up? Will the baby make it this time? And the one that trumps them all:
Will I ever get to hold my new-born baby in my arms again?
It is times and thoughts like these that cause me to wonder if there are shortcuts: magic, god, karma, clairvoyance. It brings back Ayn Rand's words from her
interview with Phil Donahue. She said, she would enjoy the thought that there was an afterlife, so she could see her husband. Problem is, wishing for that would not make it true.
Still, if there are any Hogwartz graduates out there, give me a ring!
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