Political agenda at preschools

I feel so depressed today, it is almost physically painful.  I am not sure of all the causes, but there is one that has been occupying my mind for days.

When making the move to Orange County, we were excited as years of planning had come to fruition and the long-awaited beginning of our eldest son's formal education at what we consider the best school in existence, Van Damme Academy, was finally upon us. There was just one small matter to attend to: a preschool for our little girl needed to be selected.  After speaking to over a dozen Montessori schools in the area, we had settled on Monarch Bay Montessori Academy.  A Montessori training facility headed up by women who apparently valued the Montessori philosophy as much as I do was worth the higher tuition and a commute.

As the school year started, we could not have been more pleased with Van Damme. Lily's environment, however, served to dampen the joy.  She was placed in a classroom with an inexperienced teacher who was off to a rough start. Still, after a series of talks with the administration and the teacher, I found I was able to influence the situation and the initially inappropriate behavior by the teacher was rectified. I was frankly astonished at the change and relaxed. Now that the school year is drawing to a close, I am revisiting my doubts.

Though Lily seems relatively happy and likes her teachers, she is in anything but a proper Montessori environment. The classroom is noisy. The kids are frequently misusing the materials. Presentations are not what I have come to expect from Montessori. The teachers are over-involved with the students and the whole thing is kind of sloppy.  Still, this is not the primary factor making me depressed.

Why is it that preschools have taken it upon themselves to preach political agenda? It commonly takes form of extreme environmentalism and multi-cultural ideas. Leaving aside my own philosophical and political views, which do not mesh well with the content, I am distressed by the notion that  a school ostensibly dedicated to teaching children to interact with the world, physical materials and engaging their senses, takes on the teaching of such controversial points to three-year-olds? It is developmentally inappropriate as ideas reach far beyond the preschooler's capacity to reason. Thus it is nothing more than propaganda and is contrary to the Montessori spirit of providing children with experiences and information they can easily grasp and advancing at the child's developmental pace.

There is nothing particularly wrong with teaching children to take care of nature. Many schools have gardens and classroom pets that kids learn to care for with love. Similarly, it is entirely appropriate to teach kids about polite manners and friendly demeanor toward others regardless of their color, creed or beliefs.

Yet when my three-year-old comes home and talks about trees "breathing all the air on earth", so we need to protect them, I note how impossible it is for her to grasp the ideas that go into that statement: photosynthesis involved in "breathing the air" or the "protection" measures involved with the trees, let alone the reasoning necessary to weigh the factors involved in choosing to "protect" them.

The multiculturalism ideas similarly involve all kinds of bad thinking.  The notion of respecting anyone's beliefs is preposterous: some beliefs are evil and should not be condoned! No respect is due to villanos philosophies of the Communist Russia, Nazi Germany, cannibalist tribes of Africa or terrorist cultures of Palestine. I do not, however, presume to teach any of this to my own young children as they are simply unprepared to make such judgements - so why does their preschool feel the necessity to do so?

Monarch Bay is not the exception.  They, thankfully, are not engaged in the multicultural preachings - of the two I find those more harmful, but are so over the top on environmentalism that I wonder when the children have the time to work on the proper Montessori materials at all as such a large portion of materials is dedicated to these age-inappropriate ideas!  Peninsula Montessori, where my children began their education leaned heavily on the multiculturalism ideas and spent half the year preparing for, and immersed in the international festival, an event that attempted to ingrain the utmost respect to the backward, mystical and often dangerous ideas of other parts of the world.

Tomorrow, Lily is going on a field trip to clean up the beach.  A delightful hike to the beauty of the Pacific Ocean with the time there taken up by sorting through trash instead of admiring the beauty of the planet we live on, nor the mysterious forces and amazing wonders of the ocean. My husband advocated keeping her home.  My response (and the source of my present distress): "I don't expect that day to be any different from any others.  Instead of learning about "protecting" endangered species, she will be picking up candy wrappers. I don't wish to deprive her of an opportunity to spend time at the beach for the sake of avoiding just one in the long series of unnecessary and inappropriate lessons!" "I didn't realize it was that bad," said Jeff, "Perhaps we should look at moving her."

Moving her where??? How are we to find a school in southern California, Orange County of all places, which does not feel that raising "responsible citizens"is its primary duty? I too grew up in an environment that busied itself with raising responsible citizens: Soviet Russia. Perhaps for me, this hits a bit close to home...

I realize that these ideas will fail to take hold and after a few months at Van Damme, Alex has corrected his views and brings home information about real science, spelling and art. Notably, they are not weighed down by any philosophical ideas inappropriate for his age. The word rational, for instance, is not yet in his vocabulary.  For now, he is actually learning about the way the world works - a subject that is plenty big to fill a five-year-old's calendar...  Still, the wasteful arrogance of the culture, in which we are forced to raise our children brings me pain.

Why, oh why, isn't Lisa VanDamme willing to open a preschool?  Oh, right... because the number and perversity of government regulations would make her job so miserable that training young minds might not work out to be worth all the pain.  Can't say I blame her.  How sad!

Blood and gory numbers

After many months of arguing with myself about the value of having another baby, I surrendered.  There was a basic and fundamental problem: while all the arguments against it were obviously right, rational and clearly optimized for a better life - they just did not work!  So eventually, my husband and I made the decision to move ahead.

A few weeks of HARD WORK later, we had a pink line!  Now, if you've been reading this blog for a while, you will know, that this is not yet cause for celebration for me.  It's been barely over a year since I lost the first of the two most recent pregnancies. I had decided not to tell anyone, so as to avoid a very public sadness if the news were bad - the only problem is - I couldn't do it!  It it just plain too hard to have news so big and important, and fail to tell my friends.  And yes, many of them I have never met, and the only connection we have is through Facebook or this blog.  So there we have it - I posted my BIG SECRET last week.

My new doctor seemed to really take my situation to heart and began monitoring my blood immediately.  The news so far are neither disastrous, nor encouraging.  Here is the situation. 

HCG - your basic pregnancy hormone - is supposed to double every 48-72 hours. My number on day 32 was 290, which falls well within the crazy-wide range for week five of 18 - 7,340.  A week later, the number is near 2,000.  Clearly moving along, but I'd be happier if it were at the upper end.

Progesterone - this is the hormone responsible for many of the pregnancy symptoms (of which I always have very few, and fewer still now) - and again, a wide 4-34 is acceptable.  Mine turned up at 16 and my doctor said, "I'd be happier if it were at 20" and prescribed demetrium - a progesterone supplement.  After doing that for a week, my level went down to 12!  OK, that's decidedly the wrong direction.  :-(

So what does it all mean?  My initial reaction - that I am too old, too broken to have a baby, life is unfair.  There is definitely a god and he is spiteful.  Oh, and I give up - I won't even go for any further blood tests!

The morning after, I went back to a more measured approach.  Clearly, something is wrong with my body.  The wrongness is unlikely to be a typical chromosomal problem as those tend to prevent people from getting pregnant.  We've never had an issue there at all.  So the more likely explanation - the oven.  I also suspect, the issue is not structural.  Not only have I had healthy children, but in my last two pregnancies, the problem was diagnosed long before any natural processes expelling the baby began taking place.  Hormones?  Been my suspicion for a long time.  I am thrilled, my doctor is monitoring the situation.  We'll surely be able to figure out what it is, fix it and do better in the future, if not this time.

I'll probably post updates as things develop.

Low point

Have you been there?

One kid is going through a moody face and turns into a storm cloud with no notice.  When you finally manage to get him into a human shape again, the little one begins to fall apart for no apparent reason. You get into an argument with your mother-in-law about some stupid household matter. Your husband is working late, so you have no reprieve in sight.  Finally, dinner is over, you've got the kids in a bath and listening to some well-deserved audio on your iphone.  Then all hell breaks lose.  Kids begin to scream at each other, mother-in-law picks that moment to walk in and discuss politics, you discover that the kids' bed is in need of bed sheets and you recognize the beginnings of a bladder infection.

MOMMY'S NIGHT OFF.  "You guys are putting yourselves to bed tonight.  I will not be checking on you. Yes, I know, we did not brush your teeth.  I do not care.  Go brush them if you wish.  I am blogging."

After a few minutes, there is no crying coming from the other side of the house, the mother-in-law is hiding and the screen is filling up with words.  Things are looking up.

Do you know a secret about Other Moms?  I mean, Other Super-Moms that do everything perfectly, blog about positive discipline and a variety of parenting successes that seem to be so out of reach for mortals? Well, I have learned that THEY ALL HAVE BEEN THERE.  Every one of them!  Should I include myself?  Yeah, I think, my blog mostly paints the good days.  :-)

Oh, you want to know another secret?

I     A M     P R E G N A N T.

Good night.