I am ashamed of myself for having been absent from my blogs and online generally for so long. Yes, I am unbelievably busy as we just moved and I am juggling unpacking, getting babysitters, handymen, insect killers and all the other things you have to do after you move, with my job, and business concerns and, of course, the kids who - instead of being supportive and appreciative of my labors - are having a hard time adjusting to the new environment. (If this last sentence sounded like I was running out of breath at the end - well, it is a good representation of my days!)
On the other hand, I have two blogs, with an internal commitment of posting at least one post per week - half an hour per post - seriously, can I fail to find one hour a day to dedicate to something this important? YES I CAN!
Yesterday, there was a breaking moment - and things started getting back to normal. Suddenly, after consuming junk food and meals out for two weeks straight, I found the energy to go to the grocery store. Once there, I announced, "That is it! Mommy is back. I'll make you dinner and it'll be amazing, and we'll get back to eating well and feeling good again!" After the trip, we got to frantically setting the table. My husband had said, we had too many wine glasses. No problem! I broke three of them in the process. We had shrimp and edamame and strawberries with whipped cream for dessert.
All of a sudden, half way through this frantic preparation, my lovey-dovey five-year-old was back! Back from the spazz-land he has been at since we moved. He told me, "Mommy, I just feel good all over when you are next to me." And that he felt like I was his girlfriend (quickly following up with questions about whether boys were supposed to have boyfriends.) And this evening, informed Lily that she had to marry him when she grew up, so his whole family would be attached to him.
And I felt different, too. At one point, during that same hectic dinner preparation, I heard myself say, "Damned, Alex! You don't have to get whiny every time some little thing you wanted doesn't work out to your liking! Ahem... Eh... What I mean is... " and the old phrase came back from the recesses of my mind, buried somewhere behind all the boxes, "... sometimes we don't get quite want we want - but things often work out for the best anyway!" I have said this one at least fifty times over the past year. It was as familiar as the finally unpacked old worn out and slightly chipped flatware we were putting on the table...
All along, I knew we were all having a hard time. We were holding on to each other, sometimes whining, sometimes losing our temper, but I have a feeling that all of us understood: it's tough, but we'll get through it. And when we did, it wasn't a surprise, just a relief. The important thing is that at no point did I think, my kids "misbehaved." It's a silly notion, which enables parents to get by without thinking too hard about what's bothering their kids. I gave them leeway, but I can also tell, they gave me some too. The move is not yet behind us, boxes are still everywhere - but it is nice to reflect and notice that we've made it across the toughest peak - and didn't lose perspective in the process.
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