Starting a new life

As a child, at my mom's encouragement, I used to "start a new life" with every milestone: new school year, new semester, certainly a change in residence. It is a great time to decide to change your habits for the better, when you have an opportunity to clear the slate and start over.  Only it never worked out... Turns out, clean slate is not a sufficient condition! Nor is a desire to change. One needs a different plan, a different approach to the things that have been less than successful in the past.  Just "trying harder" is rarely the answer.

We are finally moving to Orange County, a beautiful town of Laguna Hills, to have our oldest son start kindergarten at the Van Damme Academy (a small school, which four years ago, has captured our hearts, thoughts, and a registration deposit). We found a beautiful house. I mean, really, amazing! It has enough space for us to relax, enjoy each other and have time to ourselves at the same time. There is small back yard with enough room for a play area, a patio set and even a substantial garden. We have a real fireplace, a beautiful kitchen and even a play room! And now the question is, will we turn this wonderful home into the mess that ours usually becomes?

After a lot of discussion, we are leaning toward the right answer.  We are starting a new life! A life in which all things have a place and are put away immediately upon use, just like in a Montessori classroom. It sounds magical! What a great place to call home! No stains on the carpet, no food or toys left around, no clothing trails leading to the kids' bedroom. We are excited, motivated and we have this beautiful space in which to start.

Only... wait! That one other thing: the method. Now, that is the stumbling block... I have tried to implement a system like this just over a year ago, when I decided to set up a Montessori homeschool at home. I gave up for this specific reason: I have no idea how one goes about creating, let alone maintaining an ordered environment!  All the Montessori books I have read are less than helpful.  They matter-of-factly state "In a Montessori classroom children are expected to take care of their own environment."  Duh. Unfortunately, expectations alone do not produce results. Not being well-organized or tidy myself, I have tried for years to work with my kids and focus on putting things away.  There have been minor successes.  But nothing you'd notice if you came over for a visit... Eventually, I decided that it was not something I was going to ever try again.  It was simply not worth the tears, not mine, not my children's.

And now I cannot resist reopening the issue. How do we make it happen? Here are some of my  thoughts:

• Create an unlimited budget for organizational materials (cubbyholes, hooks, baskets, coat racks, etc). Granted, this would not be a large budget: how much can you really spend on something like this?  But it would provide some structure and ensure that a solution to any "I can't figure out a place for this item" type problem is only one click and two amazon-prime days away.
• Get a buy-in from the children on the idea of having a nice home.  I know, Alex has recognized the negatives, such as his inability to find things, though he has told me, it was worth it to not have to put things away. Still, they adore the new home, and it's a nice time to try.
• I am considering a celebrations/achievements structure. Not the typical reward stuff, but rather a self-congratulatory all-family celebrations that recognize what we have achieved. OC is so amazingly full of places that are fun for families - going out, celebrating, then bringing back a souvenir that goes on some kind of an achievement board may be a wonderful way to mark the difficult journey.
• Using music to help motivate clean-up moments, such as those that happen when stuff is left out beyond what's proper. Having to interrupt one's activity because the mess is left behind can be softened with something fun, upbeat and silly.
• But the bottom line is, somehow, we need to get into the habit of putting every single thing we touch where it goes right after we are done with it... And even more importantly, doing this without losing our positive sense of life or our temper.

This is not an easy undertaking.  My biggest fear has to do with the scenario when a child becomes simply unwilling to comply, worn down by the difficulty of the path. "Why do I always have to do this?!" Alex asks me in desperation."  "I just don't want to!" Lily frequently announces as she breaks down into tears. I have to have a plan for when these things happen. Do I help?

Probably not.  Most likely, we take a break for hugs, long enough to feel better. Then decide what would make the experience worth enduring.  Music? A fun activity after?

There still needs to be a plan C - what we do after nothing, absolutely nothing, will make this livable. Some parents advocate getting rid of toys (or just storing them away) that don't get picked up. Is that fair when there are two siblings and they share the toys?  Obviously, the other one could do it, but if the toys stay available, there is a real problem.

What are your thoughts?  How do you tackle the putting things away problem with young children? Do you sigh and do it yourself? Engage the child into a game? And what do you do when everything fails?  I appreciate all the thoughts!